5 Reasons You DON’T Need Coaching
Last time we looked at the 5 reasons you should consider getting a coach. That’s the one where I started by telling you you don’t actually NEED a coach, remember?
Yeah, killer self-promotion, I know.
Now let’s do the opposite. There’s good reasons for getting a coach because coaching is actually bloody darn useful, but there’s also some really bad reasons for considering a coach.
Here’s the 5 absolutely wrong reasons to get coaching.
1. To Get “Motivated”
A coach is not a motivational speaker. Even though your coach will at times be the person who helps you up from the mud and gives you a pep talk, that’s not what you hire a coach for.
Motivational speakers, especially the really bad ones, tend to motivate externally. That’s when you join a bunch of other people in a giant lecture hall to listen someone inspire you for 2 hours and then charge you a bunch of money for the pleasure. This sort of motivation wears off quickly after the seminar and you need a new motivation dose soon after.
A coach does the opposite. A coach will help you find and access the power within you that motivates you to take action. And here’s the thing. When you have complete clarity about what your direction is, you don’t need motivation.
Pursuing your dream becomes something you just do.
How’s that possible? Well, imagine someone motivating you to breathe.
In! Out! You can do it! Keep breathing!
Silly, right? Pursuing your dreams can be as natural as breathing for you.
2. To Get The Answer / Told What to Do Next
I never liked the term “life coach”. To me it sounds like someone would tell you how to live your life. A coach is not there to offer you some easy answers. Actually, it’s rather the opposite.
A great coach is an adept listener and will suggest a new perspective on your situation. This new angle might even be complete bollocks and you might disagree with it completely. That’s the point. It’s not meant to be an answer.
What this does is reveal the right QUESTIONS. It is then up to you to figure out the answers. Sometimes the answer is right in front of your nose but you were blind to it.
Sometimes there is no answer.
Point is, all you need is the question to drive you forward.
3. To Get a Mentor
While a mentor can be a coach, a coach’s primary job is not to be your mentor. A great coach will help you walk through fire, and believe absolutely that you’re able to walk through fire … but they will not LEAD you through the fire. Often times they don’t even have experience walking through the fire themselves.
A great coach will empower you to lead yourself through whatever challenges you face.
Your coach will likely not be an expert in your field. In fact, it’s often better if they’re rather ignorant of what you do, so they can ask the seemingly obvious questions you didn’t think to ask. They’re not burdened by the curse of knowledge and other biases.
In short, a great coach will help you untangle the mess in your mind, clear up the fog and enable YOU to take the action you know you must take, but the rest is up to you. Your coach will not hold your hand.
4. Because You’re Inadequate or Not Good Enough
This is the life coach thing again. You don’t NEED coaching to live your life.
You don’t need a coach to be adequate.
You are FUCKING AMAZING.
A common sales and marketing tactic is to make you feel inferior first, and then offer you the miracle cure as a solution to your predicament. I’ve heard some coaches do this to increase their demand.
You’re perfect as you are.
…Ironically, THAT’S where a great coach can help.
We’re so inundated with self doubt and so eager to stifle our growth journey with various forms of self sabotage, that sometimes we need an external voice to remind us that we are actually fucking amazing. Someone to remind us that 90% of the worries in our minds are just a result of good old monkey mind trying to protect us.
So you don’t need a coach to be amazing, but a coach can help you remember how amazing you actually are.
5. To Reach Your Dreams
Now this is a bit of a toughie.
A great coach will help you reach your dreams, that I can say almost for sure. But you’re the one reaching the dream. You’re the one doing all the heavy lifting. You are the big damn hero.
The coach is not the hero. Do you need the coach to reach your dreams? No.
Will a great coach help ease that journey and shorten the time to get there? Most likely.
Will a great coach help you shift your mindset, so that previously impossible things now seem like possible things? Yes.
You shine the light on your own path. A coach is just there to make sure your light shines brighter than you ever thought possible.