Are Your Friends Holding You Back?

As much as I love visiting Finland (the small frozen landmass where I’m from), it sometimes serves as a painful reminder of how estranged I’ve become of my old friends and social life.

The more I see the world, the more I grow. The more I grow, the more I realize how limitless I am.

Thus my goals grow with me. I don’t plan to sit around waiting for success to knock on my door. I’m here to leave gorram tremors in my wake.

10k€ a month? What if you double it? Triple it? What if there was no limit to your income?

More free time? Are you implying that all of your time isn’t free? What if you could go anywhere at any time?

This is my reality.

When You Outgrow Yourself

The sad thing when your goals grow out of the dimensions and comprehensibility of normal people, is that you no longer have much to talk about.

“Sorry, I can’t go anywhere tonight, gotta work tomorrow.”

“Did you see <celebrity> in <newspaper> tonight? That was so embarrassing!”

They speak of proudly saving pennies at the thrift store.

They speak of lofty goals as ridiculous pipedreams, and return quickly to their comfortable every day lives. “I wish I could go to the beach again, but gotta save up some vacation days.”

They grovel at the sight of the only attractive person in town. After all, if they can’t get this girl/guy, there’s no more girls left in the world.

“I hate my job but I can’t quit because we have a Christmas party soon.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’ll talk about anything. But I’ll always turn it into something deeper than just superficial stuff. Your job? Let’s talk about your goals in life. Whatever your wildest wishes are, I’ll dig it out and tell you that it’s possible. Because I truly believe that.

I have yet to be presented with an impossible dream.

Normal People Don’t Want Possibilities.

Here’s the ugly truth. With extraordinary people, it’s possible to talk about dreams and goals. They will welcome it.

It’s possible because extraordinary people are capable of picking themselves up and taking responsibility for their lives. If they know something is possible, they will do everything in (and outside) of their power to get it.

A normal person will resist this. To them, some or most things are out of their control. All of their dreams are being prevented from happening through external causes.

Can’t get a girl because all the good ones are taken. Can’t get rich because they didn’t invent Facebook. Can’t improve their life because they have to go to work tomorrow. Whatever convenient excuse they can come up with, as long as it’s not in the mirror.

If you, as limitless individual, go and tell these people that their dreams are completely possible and even easy to attain, they will dismiss you. They will resist your words to the bitter end. Because they absolutely can not face the idea that they would have responsibility of their own fate. They will treat it as a burden.

Now that’s fine.

I’m not complaining. When 99% of the world fight to be mediocre, it’s much easier for me to be part of the 1% and fucking kick ass.

Old Friend or Ball and Chain?

The reason I’m writing about this is that those “normal” people might be your friends. They might be your social circle which only yesterday was normal life for you. They might be the trusted companions who just recently were there to support you at a rough time.

But because you’re a driven person, you’re evolving. You’re leaps and bounds ahead of where you were yesterday. They can’t keep up. They don’t want to.

You’ve become a person who is no longer normal to them. You find you can’t talk to them about your dreams. They shrug off or even resent your dreams. You’ll find yourself talking about mundane crap just so they won’t get annoyed.

You’ll feel a frustration growing.

I did.

This is why I left Finland, years and years ago. To find people … not on my level, but above and past my level. People who live in a reality where there are no limits.

I’ve since learned to forgive myself and others, and even love. Still, visiting Finland is always a painful reminder of how much I’ve grown. It’s like a yardstick of development. 

Move away from things that feel heavy. That’s the only way to progress in life.

Surround Yourself With Amazing People

Leaving for home, I felt fucking heavy. Am I on the right track? Am I delusional? What if I’m crazy? Maybe I should just go back to where I came from and be a good little boy like the rest of them.

I was haunted by these poisonous thoughts. Then, after 2 hours of meditation I realized.


This is why you can not spend energy on normal people.

They love you. As best they can, they want the best for you and themselves.

Unfortunately, their thoughts and doubts will poison your mind.

They will just by living in their own reality, pull you down to their level. And that will hurt your creativity. It will hurt your vision. It’ll fill your head with doubt.

As an extraordinary individual, you must forge your own path.

A wise man once told me: listen to and respect other people. Learn from them. Hear their opinions. And then do whatever the fuck you want.


Jay Pitkänen

Head coach at Rat Race Maverick, and moonlight marketer. Connoisseur of Cabernet Sauvignon. Spot him driving a Jaguar or Corvette at high speeds over long distances.

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