Don't you sometimes wish you could just say NO, and not second guess yourself after doing so?
Has anyone ever told you "you’re too nice?"
Have you ever felt manipulated or taken advantage of by other people?
Have you ever worked tirelessly for weeks on end, completely disregarding your own sleep or health, just to keep your boss or client happy?
Do you find yourself apologizing a lot? And not just by saying the word “sorry,” either. I mean, do you find yourself apologizing for your mere existence?
For your creativity...
For your passions, ideas, dreams…
For the way you live life?
If you answered yes to some or all of these questions, you’re in the right place. Because we’re gonna turn that around.
Hi, my name is Jay Pitkänen - recovering people pleaser.
I used to do all these things. Hell, I still do these things sometimes. It’s a tough habit to kick.
But it’s possible. You can go from scared, powerless, frightened, stressed, tired … into a badass. A badass of your own making.
Whether that means amazing relationships, thriving businesses or becoming the president of the universe, you can make it happen.
That’s what I did. Once I started living by my OWN rules, things started working out.
A 30-Day Transformational Course With All the Resources You Need to Create a Lasting Change. Secure Your Spot NOW.
Like many of you, I come from an abusive home with little love. I didn’t exactly blend in with my crazy ideas and wild aspirations.
I wanted to be an entrepreneur and invent things and paint paintings and all the things that battled against my parents’ wishes.
My mother was especially fond of passive aggressive attacks, threatening abandonment, withholding love, spreading guilt etc. As a result, I developed massive anxiety and fear of abandonment.
I still find myself getting antsy by the thought of people leaving because I did something wrong.
What if I end up all alone?
I thought I was wrong. Flawed. I thought it was my job to correct my behavior so as to earn their love. This developed into an approval seeking tendency that would haunt me for many years to come.
I was so busy trying to live life according to other peoples' wishes, I had completely forgotten what it’s like to be ME.
Let me underline here, that I don’t blame my parents for this. They just passed on their own traumas. They could’ve done better, but they didn’t. And it turned me into a fighter, for which I’m thankful.
So you see, it’s quite easy to track the source of people pleasing behavior.
For me, it was a self-preservation thing, some way to protect myself from violence and abuse hauled my way. But over time, it became toxic. Over the years I was losing friends and growing in loneliness, regardless of how much I tried to be the nice guy.
Then one day I had come to my wit's end. I didn’t care about anything anymore. I figured I could go two ways. Either give up and regress into some apathetic half-depressed zombie life...
… or try that one thing I was afraid of being judged for. The one thing my heart was still faintly yearning for. Sounded better than depression, so I went for it.
And … it worked out marvelously. Nobody judged me. I didn't die or get cast out of society or anything ridiculous like that. On the contrary, I felt ALIVE. I was onto something.
I started following this trail of breadcrumbs and my life has been steadily, and sometimes exponentially, improving ever since.
This was about 8 years ago.
Since then, I’ve been learning everything there is to know about defusing these harmful beliefs.
I've tried garbage solutions, plastic fakery that gives a good feeling but doesn't change anything. I've tried beating myself up, feeling guilty, and running from my issues. I’ve tried vision boards and self-help gurus.
None of that really left a lasting change.
So I started working with some of the most clever therapists on the planet. Coaches who understood how fear works, how the ego protects us from feeling pain.
Together we dove deep into my mind. Into the dark crevaces and shadowy places long left untouched by anyone. Facing fears and shifting harmful beliefs when they came along. I've never been through so much uncomfort.
... and it worked. My approval seeking behavior started shifting into self-love.
So what happened? In addition to feeling a lot happier, fulfilled, and balanced - a bunch of new benefits appeared in my life.
Here's what you will notice happening when you let go of people pleasing:
And unlike me, YOU won't have to take a decade to get there.
Using what I've learned during the last decade, along with some fine minds in the therapeutic field, we've distilled my journey into a highly effective 30-day training.
Yeah you heard that right. It took me 10 years to go from approval seeking, harmless, stressed out and helpless - INTO powerful, pathforging, limitless, relaxed, genuinely kind, conscious, and unapologetically authentic.
You can do it in 30 days.
Fun and Engaging Lessons
I love play, and I believe it's the best way to live life and learn new things. That's why we designed the exercises and lessons to be fun!
We're not trying to add to your already stressful life. Instead, the lessons and exercises are built to lighten your load and reduce stress the further along you go.
Expect changes from day one. While we work with professional therapists, this isn't therapy. You don't have time for that.
Unlike that book you read once, felt good about for a few days and never think about again, this course will change you permanently.
Also including sweet bonuses like:
change reflects to every part of not just your life, but your children’s life if you have them (insert quote)
See you in the course!
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